Nonsensical Things

Our educational system makes very little sense. We spend four years in high school to prepare us for college. Problem is, high school is nothing like college. You are in one place from eight a.m. till three p.m., sitting in a desk. Everyone cares about your well-being and your grades. You have guidance counselors and gym class. Does this sound like college at all?

College isn’t a set schedule. You have morning classes, night classes and skipped classes. No one other than yourself really cares about your grades. And the kicker is, college is supposed to prepare you for real life. But it is nothing like real life! Nine to five doesn’t exist in college (unless you have a really crappy schedule). You have multiple teachers instead of just one manager. You are tested on knowledge a couple times a semester by yourself for an hour, often times with no study guide and no books. At a work place, tests of knowledge are daily. They are with a group of people with as much information as possible. If a company is putting millions of dollars on the line, they are not going to trust your memory. Oh, and they don’t care about your opinion on the writings of Socrates.

Another thing that does not make much sense is the targets of terrorists. If the Islamo-fascist terrorists really wanted to destroy the American way of life, why don’t they bomb Rodeo Drive? Or perhaps the Westminster Dog Show? (Apparently a beagle won?) The amount of money spent on all of those canines and in L.A. is exactly what the terrorists hate about our country: the materialistic and often frivolous nature of many of the American wealthy. Or, instead of attacking American materialism, why not start at home? Ski Dubai is one of the largest indoor ski resorts. It is part of one of the largest malls of the world. An efficient insulation system keeps it a frosty -1 degrees Celsius during the day when outside temperatures are scorching. Side note, anyone who really likes SUV’s is helping to pay for Dubai’s ski poles. Why is this not being bombed as a sign of American materialism actually taking root in Middle Eastern cultures?

Anyone notice the giant pond that floods Palmer Parking lot at Engineering every time it rains? Palmer Pond makes absolutely no sense. At least once a semester, the freshmen civil engineers are tasked with surveying the parking lots of Engineering. These parking lots have to be the most surveyed areas in the county. Why is there a sinkhole of water a couple inches deep? Either all of the freshmen are failing orientation class or something just doesn’t make sense.

Bumper stickers do not make much sense. I barely care that your car is in front of me. I am not going to read your favorite bands. I don’t care how well your middle school kid does in class. I don’t care if your Darwin fish is eating the Jesus fish or if you have a flying spaghetti monster decal. I don’t care who you are voting for. I don’t even know you! Just do me a favor and don’t hit me.

The placebo effect makes absolutely no sense. By thinking that you are taking a drug that will fix you, you get healthier. It doesn’t make sense. I’ve been trying to think I’m less cynical than I really am for years. It has not worked at all. The placebo effect does explain a lot of religions, though.

Watching golf makes no logical sense. Unless you really like staring at Tiger stooped over. Or love to see polo shirts in action shots. It makes no sense to watch people hit a little ball into a hole. In other sports, there is something exciting going on. The raw power of football. The skill and set-up of soccer. The crack of the bat in baseball. Heck, even curling has a whole bunch of people yelling over a sliding rock. NASCAR, with all its left turns, has the roar of the engine and the lovely accidents. What does golf have? There is no Happy Gilmore on the pro tour. If a fan of the sport could sit me down and try to explain it, I would be grateful. It doesn’t make any sense.

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