Unnatural Acts

Brushing your teeth. Wearing makeup. Wearing shoes. Wearing clothing. Tweezing your eyebrows. Shaving. Wearing high heels.Using wigs and weaves. Using perfume. Using soap.

All of these things are unnatural. Partaking in them is an afront to Mother Nature! They are abominations! Man was never meant to clean himself! Women were not made to paint their faces and poke their eyes out with mascara. Yet, we do this all the time. We go about with sparkling smiles and colored eyes. We put metal cages on our teeth so they are straight. We lengthen, twist, color, condition, shine and perm our hair into millions of permutations. Nature didn’t plan for any of these things. These things are unnatural! So, why do we do it?

Humanity partakes in all these abominations for the sake of beauty. We find straight, white teeth attractive. Rosy cheeks and high heels get more people to look at you. Fun fact: Men used to wear high heels up to four inches in height for the sake of fashion. Wigs have been a common practice throughout human history, even though there is nothing natural about wearing another animal’s fur. Piercing and tattooing are very common throughout human culture. Driving a metal bar or ink into your skin is not natural. Yet, it is socially acceptable. Throughout history, as fashions have changed, so has our acceptance of certain abominable activities.

Typing on a computer. Driving a car. Wearing glasses. Flouride. Sitting in a chair. Changing the channel. Watching movies. Flying in a plane. Eating high-fructose corn syrup. Talking on the telephone. All these acts are unnatural! Why do we stand them?

We call it progress. Tooth decay is natural, yet we stuff a plastic stick with bristles on it in our mouths to stop it. Failing eyesight is natural, yet we put circular plastic in front of our eyes to fix it. Walking somewhere is natural, but a car or plane is faster. Using a strict definition of the word, these acts are unnatural. Yet they are socially accepted because these acts improve our lives. Blisters? Get shoes. Sugar too expensive? Get corn. Our lives are bettered through progress, even if it may not be what nature intended. People are happier and no one seems to have an issue with these many events. They are innocent and ignored.

Kissing. Hate to say it, but kissing is unnatural! Two people mutually falling to each other is definitely not what Mother Nature intended. Other than a few sinful monkeys, you rarely see two animals French kissing. So, why do we do it? Well, it feels really good. There are so many nerve endings in the lips that rubbing them against another person’s lips is mutually beneficial. Kissing may have grown from early grooming and bonding behavior, which nature condones in many of its species. Another fun fact: your lips share the same amount of nerve endings with another orifice of the body. So, ultimately, pleasure has become the primary reason for partaking in a rather unnatural act.

There are millions of people being discriminated and outright loathed for acts that others deem unnatural – an abomination. But if we already do weird things for the sake of beauty, progress and pleasure, why are we judging others who are partaking in the same thing? Homosexuality is perfectly natural. It has been observed in over 500 animal species. Love and affection is natural.

So, in the name of progress, which has made billions of lives better, let’s stop the hatred and improve the lives of a few more million. If you brush your teeth, you cannot judge someone else on unnatural acts. And if you don’t brush your teeth, you should start, because halitosis is not socially accepted! Equality and social acceptance is the only thing being requested by the homosexual population. They are not a religion. They are not converting anyone. They just want what everyone else wants: unnatural acts.

  • November 10, 2008