How long does it take for a myth to be accepted as truth? For a fable to go from the pages of fiction to being taught in elementary schools? Centuries? Thousands of years? I would like to say that it takes a very long time, but all it really seems…
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Monkeys with Knives
Two circling beasts armed to the teeth Praying not to hurt the other. Misquoting Nietzsche love is madness Engarde! A lunge for the jugular. Dodged! And missed and spun and nicked And bleeding Only a flesh wound Let it, please god, be only the type that leaves no scar Like…
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Memorials are Useless
I have seen a lot of memorials in my life. I have seen every memorial at the mall at Washington, D.C. – some of them twice. In eighth grade, I searched the black granite for previous Hollingers. Men that I never knew and to whom I was probably barely related.…
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The Letter Q
Abnormal. Flawed. Marked. An O with a peg-leg stepping awkwardly through words often needing U to do the talking. Neither the front nor the back, not even the middle. Caught between two sentinels. Blame his cursed childhood in front of the nymph of P. Getting the cold shoulder from the…
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Pre-Graduate Stress Disorder
I am going to graduate in December. Crap. I am going to graduate in December! No, my dear readers, I don’t think you understand. I will graduate. As great as this sounds on paper, these three words come with a gigantic tidal wave of uncertainty, change and risk. For my…
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Her Beach
She sat there pretending she was at the ocean. Pretending that the lanes of traffic that were moving were the gentle rustle of the water against the rocks. The small breeze sliding in and out of her window had the smell of salt instead of asphalt and exhaustion. She leaned…
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Tips for Freshmen
Although only about 20 freshmen may pick up this newspaper in the first two weeks, I still feel putting this information out there will help. Here are some nice tips I wish someone would’ve told me when I first joined college. I had to find these tricks out the hard…
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Nonsensical Things
Our educational system makes very little sense. We spend four years in high school to prepare us for college. Problem is, high school is nothing like college. You are in one place from eight a.m. till three p.m., sitting in a desk. Everyone cares about your well-being and your grades.…
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Mohawk March
Throughout the month of March and into half of April (due to a formal request by my girlfriend), I had a mohawk. Yes, I was that kid. And yes, I was often whistling. Sometimes it was the smurf theme song. Let’s not judge. On a side note, people don’t whistle…
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Modern Stoicism
I am a stoic. I guess I never really realized it until my freshmen year of college. In my English class, we actually discussed the stoic philosophy. Almost everyone else in my class was put off by some of the beliefs. I was sitting there, calmly agreeing. Stoicism was founded…